Lately I’ve been remembering some funny stories of things my family did when I was little, and my son and wife are always making me laugh. I thought I’d share some of those stories as I think of them.

The Wilson Pants Theorem

Children’s pants have two legs. Therefore, there is a 50% chance that the correct leg will go in the correct hole the first time. Actual findings: there is a 100% chance that the initial leg goes in the wrong hole, or both legs go in the same hole.

Protecting Your Movie Rental

When I was little my dad, brother and I would drive or walk down to the Kom-Pak on Staunton Avenue to rent movies. On those times that we drove, my dad would always take the VCR tape, in the big plastic container and cram it under the seat for the drive home. Sometimes we’d have to make other stops like the gas station or the Corner Cafe, but it was always very important that we stuffed the tapes under the car seat. The rational was that if people saw the tape in our car, they would immediately lose control of their will and break into our Buick LaSabre to steal our copy of “Howard the Duck,” “Harry and the Hendersons” or “Chopping Mall.”

I had completely forgot about this until an incident a day or two back. I was coming home from work when I stopped at the local branch of my bank to hit the ATM, rented a movie at Blockbuster and then purchased a new game at GameStop. When I got to my house I couldn’t find the movie I rented anywhere. Someone totally stole my movie rental! I would be out $80 or whatever the lost video fee was. My dad was right. The thief totally ignored my $3,500 work laptop, the cash sitting in the bank envelope, my GPS, some Disney CDs, and went right for the video.

As I put my head down in my hands to sulk, there it was, jammed under the driver’s seat. I had subconsciously put the video there to keep anyone from stealing it. The nut doesn’t fall too far from the tree, I guess.

Due to accidental mishap, I was forced to shop for a new lens for my camera. I dropped my 18 – 55mm “kit” lens that came with my Canon XSi. It was a great little lens that met it’s maker too soon. To replace the lens I started on amazon.com and b&h.com but didn’t see anything in my price range. Fortunately, I found a nice lady on Craigslist who was selling her gently used Canon EF 28-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS USM Standard Zoom Lens for Canon SLR Cameras. This is a super convenient “walking around lens” giving both zoom and wide-angle possibilities.

She also sold me a nice Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II Camera Lens which is great for “available light” photos and very clear shots (it doesn’t zoom so the lens is much simpler).

My wife and I also took advantage of the nice weather to take my my son to the park nearby. Yesterday was one of the first days since mid-december that it has been warm enough to go outside and play. Here are some of the photos from the park. You can see the whole set here.

Parker is very close to walking. Here is him on the track pushing his new car he got for Christmas.

We (me included) crawled all over the field playing soccer and taking pictures

We also got to play with sand. The first time since Parker was very small.

(This is my 100th post at www.whereisjohnwilson.com)

I haven’t taken as many photos as I’ve wanted to this year, but I did get some good ones at the Coastal Carolina Fair near Charleston, SC this year. This was Parker’s first trip to the fair. He got to pet all kinds of animals, ride his first carnival ride and watch his mother and I eat fried Oreos (very exciting for him I’m sure).

If you go next year, I highly suggest you go during the day. There was a shooting on the last night of the fair, and until they can prevent the hoodlums from ruining it for everyone, I don’t suggest going after dark. We went during both the South Carolina and Clemson Football games, so there weren’t too many people there.

Here are some photos from the Coastal Carolina Fair:

Parker on his first Carousel ride.

Parker and his Momma on the Carousel

Not thrilled with all of the animals making noises.

One MILLION Calories

Leaving the Fair (I guess he didn’t get enough of the Fried Oreos

You can see the other 25 photos here at the whereisjohnwilson.com flickr page.

Dear South Carolina,

I hope this letter finds you well. Other than the Governor and his soon-to-be ex-wife on the television a bunch, things here in the “Low Country” have been going well. We’re getting our very own Boeing plant, the South East Wildlife Expo this weekend marks the beginning of the tourist season, and the recent oyster festival was one of the biggest yet. Not only those state-wide events, but something in the water caused my wife to get pregnant and now we’re expecting our first child, who will be a native!

I’m writing you today because I need to ask some questions about the pact we made when I moved down here. I promised you I’d pay my ridiculous tax rate, put up with the 107 degree summer days (it’s a wet heat), and learn to eat fish and all you had to do was hold up your end of the bargain.

You see, South Carolina, when all of my friends and family up north ask why I moved down here, I tell them it’s because it never gets below 50 in the winter. They’re buried in snow up to their eyeballs and I’m going for a jog in my shorts. I love to send them pictures of palm trees, and they think it’s funny when I tell them my friends from “down here” put on their heavy coats when the temperature goes below 50.

Now here’s the part I don’t understand. All the great times we’ve spent together, and when I’m not looking, you let it snow. LET IT SNOW?! Not to mention it is 30 degrees. You know no one knows how to drive when it gets like this, and you know that my Facebook page is going to be full of people who haven’t seen snow in ten years building snowmen and I’m going to have to say how cute their kids look… but I have to fake the smile because all I can think about is the fact that YOU LIED! I don’t even know if my house can stand up to this snow, the pipes could be bursting, the shingles could be falling off, my tree is already shedding branches…

South Carolina, do you know that they canceled school yesterday at 1:30pm because it was going to snow at 9pm? That is what I am dealing with down here. In West Virginia they go to school as long as the kids can see over the snow drifts. I swear the super-sized mortgage payment I pay each month has a “no snow” clause. I’m not even sure my hybrid car will turn on. I haven’t “warmed up” a car in five years and I don’t own a shovel, a scraper or a bag of salt.

To say I’m mad at you is an overstatement. Let’s call it “disappointed.” You promised me things that you haven’t been able to deliver on, and I’m not one to forget quickly. I can’t wait til it floods downtown Charleston today.

Cold with wet feet,
John Wilson

P.S. DirecTv doesn’t work in the snow. Lame.

See the rest of the photos at my flickr page here.

Today it was pretty cloudy, and I got a late start, so I didn’t want to venture too far from home. I shot these at the Charles Pickney National Park on Long Point Road. I didn’t have much sunlight, and I have a bad habit of blowing out the skies when I shoot near dusk. Once I get better, I think this would be a great place to shoot spooky photos.

Here are some of my favorites. If you’d like to see the whole set, visit it at Flickr. You can see all of my pictures by visiting my Flickr site.

This week’s set was taken at the Mount Pleasant Memorial Waterfront Park. It was REAL cold, so I didn’t stay very long. The further out the pier I went, the stronger and colder the air got.

Below are my two favorite. You can see this set, and all of my other travel pictures on my Flickr site:

I get a great deal of enjoyment out of goofy signs. Remember the “Disabled Viewing Area” sign? As much as I travel, I run into some pretty funny ones. Here’s one I ran into recently:

Chik-fil-a proves it’s best not to outsource your signage

Main Disconect?

I go to this Chik-fil-a on North Highway 17 in Mount Pleasant, SC way too often. As I was sitting there the other night, just before you come to the window, I saw the sign to the right. Now, I think Chik-fil-a is the best fast food restaurant around. The food is great, the service is impeccable, and it’s way better than the alternatives.

This Chik-fil-a in particular gets tons of traffic because it is so new and it’s placed in a nice section of town (where people may look down their noses at McDonalds).

So, approximately a zillion people have seen this sign. My questions are:

• Has the manager?
• Where is the District Manager?
• The owner?
• Has anyone other than me?
• Can someone buy me a better camera?

The CD entitled, “Heartbreak Motel” has received great reviews so far. It includes 10 songs with future radio hits like Savannah, Let Me Let You Go and Love is the Hardest Thing. The music is probably categorized as a Country-Rock blend (Crock?) – but I’m not much of a music guy.

Songs from the band’s previous albums, Coney Island EP and Phonography will most likely also be on tap.

To get your copy of the CD autographed by the lead singer, Matt Megrue, be sure to contact the band via their MySpace page at: http://www.myspace.com/countylinestrangers
See you at the show!