John Wilson Sponsored by…
I need a sponsor.
I’m a big MMA/UFC fan. For me, it’s a very “pure” sport. Man-on-man, limited rules, very entertaining.
One of my favorite parts of the fight occurs immediately after the fight is over. Drenched in blood and sweat an assigned member of the posse’s job is to make sure that the fighter gets the sponsor’s t-shirt on and designated beverage in hand.
In a classic piece of marketing gone wrong, the sponsors were having the fighters drink their beverage on camera, during the post-fight interview in the octagon. Great idea, except they forgot to tell the above listed posse member to open the can. On cue, however, the fighters would pretend to drink out of the can. Poorly. Several times they just tipped the can up around the general shoulder/ear area.
So, How do I get sponsored to go to work? I really want to finish a big client deliverable, throw on my Charmin (yes, the toilet paper) T-shirt, pretend to drink an unopened Coke, and thank my sponsors for helping me get to work and do my best. I wouldn’t charge much, and I promise to wear the gear and recite the taglines when appropriate. I think I’d want my work sponsors to be:
- Sugar-Free Red Bull (I’m not a morning person)
- Donald Trump Brand (so I could borrow his catch phrase “You’re Fired” when I kill a project)
- Wilson Footballs (I’ve always dreamed of turning in a document, spiking a football and doing the Ickey Shuffle)
- Xbox 360 (free games!)
- Condom Depot (because I laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME a fighter has that printed on the back of their fighting shorts)
Do you think maybe I could get Condom Depot on the back of my charcoal pin stripe suit?
