2010 WSOP Champ Crowned
Jul/100
photos and story by John Wilson
LAS VEGAS: Parker Wilson, known at the tables at “Bubbie” was crowned 2010 WSOP Champion, earning his first bracelet.
In the final hand, Parker held AJ and his final opponent held ATs. When the flop came J,,J,4 of mixed suits, the champ was crowned. The final two cards were the three of spades of the seven of clubs.
Wilson outlasted each of the record setting 7318 other opponents to become the 2010 champ. Wilson learned poker just over the last five months from his father, prominent journalist, photographer and product developer John Wilson, watching him play at the popular online poker site, Poker Stars.
Wilson, a man of few words, simply smiled, babbled a few lines to the camera and was wheeled off by his mother.
Parker on the way back to South Carolina with father and coach John Wilson.
Picture of champ Parker Wilson
Just one?!
Jul/100
by John Wilson
Happy Fourth of July from www.whereisjohnwilson.com.
I hope you have the chance to buy (or see) more than one “firework.”
I took this picture of a firework vendor across the street from Carrabba’s on SC 17 North.
Airplane Etiquette
May/102
by John Wilson
This post (for the most part) is being written at about 18,900 ft on a flight to Atlanta. We’re flying through a storm and this is keeping my mind off of the turbulence. Typically, I use my Jedi mind tricks to keep the flight smooth, but the Claritin is blocking the pathways.
There has been a lot of talk lately about the air traveler’s bill of rights (protecting passengers from airlines), and new legislation surrounding wait times on the tarmac. Below is my manifesto on airplane etiquette (protecting passengers from each other). If everyone would follow these simple ten rules, no one would mind a little extra wait on the ground.
- Know how to go through security – This is the fastest way because it lets you put everything back together (from the ground up):
- Shoes on the belt first
- Then carry on
- Then liquids in a bag, in a “hat bin”
- Then your computer bag
- Then your computer in a bin
- Then your jacket, sweater, etc.
- Security applies to you, too – Yes, you have to take your shoes off, no we don’t care that you have to completely unpack to remove your liquids. Have you been living under a rock for the last nine years? Just do it.
- Carry-ons – A few simple rules here:
- if you can’t lift it over your head, and you’re less than 70 years old, leave it at home.
- It’s called carry on because you need to carry it on to the plane. Your roller board will not roll down the aisle, and you will hit me with it.
- Put your computer bag under the seat in front of you. I don’t care if it is your only bag, no one wants to have to put their luggage behind them or have to check it.
- Personal Music – I appreciate that you purchased headphones that are loud enough for me to enjoy, but I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t. Simply remove your headphones and if you can still hear the music, it’s probably too loud.
- Head Phones as a Signal – If I’m wearing headphones, I don’t want to talk to you unless I have to. I’ve probably had a long day, I’ve probably been on multiple flights, and I’m probably trying to avoid listening to your music. Don’t bother trying to talk to me, I’m ignoring you.
- Please don’t touch my seat – Use the arm rests to stand up and the overhead bins to balance yourself in the aisle. And, for the love of God, please tell your kid to stop kicking me.
- Stay in your seat – If you don’t fit in your seat, buy two or sit in first class. You can also call the airline and ask which flights are partially full and then you can typically sit by yourself (I call this “Poor Man’s first class”. If you do fit, stay off of my side.
- Get out of your seat – Be ready to deplane as soon as possible when it is your turn. Have your under-the-seat-bag ready and have a light enough carry on to be able to pull it out on the move. We all have connections to get to.
- We all have connections – Don’t bother asking to get in front of me in the aisle as we deboard. One – you don’t fit. Two – it will save you about 12 seconds. Three – I have a connection, too. Four – the guy in front me of is going to ignore you.
- Have a nice day – All the above rules aside, just be nice to your fellow passengers, and treat them the way you expect to be treated, and we’ll all get there with our sanity. (Also, don’t take your shoes off and pick your toe jam – the guy beside me is doing that RIGHT NOW.)
Like my rules above? Think I’m ridiculous? Put your own stories or additions to the rules in the comments below.
Six Flags over Parker
Mar/100
by John Wilson
Do you think putting our 10 day old on a roller coaster was a bad idea? Is 10 days too young?
Whoa!
My wife caught this picture riding in the back seat of our car on the way to the WVU Game Watch. He makes the same face when the WVU Basketball team misses foulshots.
Dear South Carolina (or Snow in Charleston)
Feb/104
by John Wilson
Dear South Carolina,
I hope this letter finds you well. Other than the Governor and his soon-to-be ex-wife on the television a bunch, things here in the “Low Country” have been going well. We’re getting our very own Boeing plant, the South East Wildlife Expo this weekend marks the beginning of the tourist season, and the recent oyster festival was one of the biggest yet. Not only those state-wide events, but something in the water caused my wife to get pregnant and now we’re expecting our first child, who will be a native!
I’m writing you today because I need to ask some questions about the pact we made when I moved down here. I promised you I’d pay my ridiculous tax rate, put up with the 107 degree summer days (it’s a wet heat), and learn to eat fish and all you had to do was hold up your end of the bargain.
You see, South Carolina, when all of my friends and family up north ask why I moved down here, I tell them it’s because it never gets below 50 in the winter. They’re buried in snow up to their eyeballs and I’m going for a jog in my shorts. I love to send them pictures of palm trees, and they think it’s funny when I tell them my friends from “down here” put on their heavy coats when the temperature goes below 50.
Now here’s the part I don’t understand. All the great times we’ve spent together, and when I’m not looking, you let it snow. LET IT SNOW?! Not to mention it is 30 degrees. You know no one knows how to drive when it gets like this, and you know that my Facebook page is going to be full of people who haven’t seen snow in ten years building snowmen and I’m going to have to say how cute their kids look… but I have to fake the smile because all I can think about is the fact that YOU LIED! I don’t even know if my house can stand up to this snow, the pipes could be bursting, the shingles could be falling off, my tree is already shedding branches…
South Carolina, do you know that they canceled school yesterday at 1:30pm because it was going to snow at 9pm? That is what I am dealing with down here. In West Virginia they go to school as long as the kids can see over the snow drifts. I swear the super-sized mortgage payment I pay each month has a “no snow” clause. I’m not even sure my hybrid car will turn on. I haven’t “warmed up” a car in five years and I don’t own a shovel, a scraper or a bag of salt.
To say I’m mad at you is an overstatement. Let’s call it “disappointed.” You promised me things that you haven’t been able to deliver on, and I’m not one to forget quickly. I can’t wait til it floods downtown Charleston today.
Cold with wet feet,
John Wilson
P.S. DirecTv doesn’t work in the snow. Lame.
See the rest of the photos at my flickr page here.
The “Idea” of Las Vegas
Feb/101
by John Wilson
Me and Parker headed to Las Vegas
I was joking with my “any-day-now-hurry-up-and-deliver” pregnant wife about whether or not our unborn son would love Las Vegas as much as I do.
Her immediate reply (she’s pretty witty) was, “If he has to hear you talk about it as much as I do, then I’ll guess no.”
She has never understood why I enjoy it so much. I have only been there three times, twice with family and once for a job interview. I was a VP’s whim of reorganizing the department from moving there, and I’m currently gambling positive, thanks to a strong streak in the Poker Room at the Sahara. I also wrote a “mini-thesis” to complete my MBA on how the marketing campaign What happens is Vegas… positively impacted the Mandalay Bay Resort Group.
The reason I enjoy it so much is the “idea” of Las Vegas. The fact is, Las Vegas strives to be over the top. It is like Disney World for adults. There is a casino where elephants and lions walk behind you while you’re gambling. There are diagonally rising elevators, roller coasters on top of space needles and huge man-made waterfalls viewable just to the folks in the casino.
The “idea” of Las Vegas for me is that the hotel-casinos will do whatever it takes to get you in the door, and then take care of you in such a way to make it easy for you to come back. Stay in the Wynn Las Vegas. The rooms are nicer than your bedroom, the food is better than you can make, and the decor makes your $500 an hour interior decorator look silly. While you are here, they are monitoring all of your eating and spending habits so that they can target their marketing and promotions to your specific tastes, all with the goal of treating you like a king or queen so that you will come back next time, and tell all of your friends.
This glamorous “idea” caters to everyone. If I want to put on some shorts and a t-shirt, I’ll fit right in gambling at the Sahara or the Luxor. If I want to take my kids to Vegas we’ll have a blast at Excaliber or Circus Circus. Want to take some friends to see a UFC fight, or a boxing match, or a concert, you can be sure something is going on at MGM, Mandalay Bay or Caesar’s Palace. There are enough restaurants and enough restaurant turnover in Las Vegas to never eat at the same restaurant twice, ever.
The “idea” of Las Vegas for me, is that if you can get there, you are guaranteed to find something you enjoy, and you can guarantee that activity will be over the top. I think Carlos Parker will love Las Vegas.
Top 7 Geekiest Gifts You Didn’t Get for Christmas
Dec/090
by John Wilson
Here are the top 7 coolest geek presents you didn’t get this year for Christmas:
Hunk-a-Junk
- The Arkeg – 50% Kegerator, 50% Video Game, 100% cool
- Sharp 3D Computer Monitor – Just Say No to goofy headwear
- Legos Millennium Falcon 5,000 Legos and it does point five past light speed
- Alien Gnome Bandits – as seen in SkyMall
- Name a Species – Name a species of bug after a friend or family member
- 108 inch TV – Mario. Life-sized.
- $55,000 Foosball Table
Adventures in the Bible Aisle
Dec/095
by John Wilson
If you go to www.bn.com and search for “Bible” there are over 51,000 results. As I stood in the “Bibles” and “Specialty Bibles” and “Study Bibles” at our local Barnes and Noble, I felt like there were more like 1,000,000. I’m very interested in reading it for the historical background and stories and was hoping to find a version with pictures (I’m a little ADD). The longer I stood there, the more interesting (and funny) it got. Here are some of my observations:
One of 1,000,000 Possibilities
1. Did you know there is a CAMOUFLAGE version of the Bible? Is that in case you get real bored shooting God’s baby deer? There is also a Stock Car version you can read between laps and Bud Lights, and a “Green Version” for in between tokes. There’s a “For Him” version and a “For Her” version, a “For Couples”, “For Teens” and “For Children” version as well as “Large Print”, “Micro Print” and a cornucopia of Red Text versions. There is literally a Bible for “Everyone.” What I couldn’t find was a Bible with pictures which is what I was really looking for and would have been the Bible for John Wilson. Besides the obvious translations differences, is there really a need for all of these versions?
2. Bibles are expensive. I know there is no material substitute for the teachings of the Book, but even the non-hunter friendly versions average about $30 bucks. This didn’t include the versions with leather covers, hard bound, soft bound, metal bookmark, child friendly, blind friendly, gold leaf, thin pages, thick pages, bold text, large margins, small margins, pocket friendly, airport friendly, friend friendly, Jewish friendly (not kidding), etc. which were upwards of $60.
3. No one helps you in the Bible aisle. In my Barnes and Noble, the Bible aisle is right in the middle of the store, right beside the giant help desk. I really wanted a Bible with pictures, and for someone to help me make sense of the madness and the only things around were tumbleweeds, a co-ed (see below) and an occasional cricket chirp. For fun, I jumped over to the Fiction section, and literally within 20 seconds someone was all over me ready to help. After asking them a few questions I moved backed towards the Bible section and she snuck away. The employees even avoid direct eye contact. I’m telling you I’M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE. Nothing…
4. Is it wrong to check out girls in the Bible section? I of course am not looking, but when a very attractive girl entered the Bible Aisle it got me thinking…”Would I feel guilty hitting on this girl if I was single, in the Bible Section?”
“Would it be a quick ticket to hell to start making out with this girl in the Christianty row?
Not that anyone who works there would ever come by to see us.
Rude – Nike Outlet Store
Sep/090
by John Wilson
I realize that XXXL is pretty big. I only wear XL and think I could drop an “lb” or two. Seriously though, do you think calling 3XL and 4XL “extreme” is any way to sell t-shirts?
My only thought was that they could mean “XTREEEEME” as in totally awesome, but I don’t think so.
You can find this sign and all the Extreme shirts you need at the Nike Store at the Tanger Outlet Mall in Myrtle Beach, SC.
Special thanks to my friend Matt Brown for pointing this one out while I was shopping for socks.
Travel Tip #5: Don’t Steal Gas in Florida
Aug/090
In my unsuccessful trip to see the cancelled Aerosmith concert in Tampa I noticed the little orange sticker seen to the right on all of the gas pumps. These stickers indicate the last time that particular pump was investigated to make sure it was safe and that it pumps out the amount of gas it says it is. Every gas station in Florida has to be inspected every 12 to 18 months.
For example, here’s a list from a few years back of all the faulty gas pumps in Hillsborough County, FL.
With Charles Bronson as the new Commissioner of Agricultural and Consumer Services I can’t imagine this ring of gas skimpers will continue.
Note: Thank you to all the people who have sent funny travel pictures. I’m going through them all now and they are very funny. I will try to get some of them up soon. Please keep sending your examples to whereisjohnwilson@yahoo.com.